More Recipes for Hippogriff

A mostly genuine collection of
medieval-sounding recipes from the Manchester Folio of 1528

Perre DiCarlo’s first book Kick Litter won nine comedy and design awards and the ire of independent-minded felines everywhere. He’s the co-creator of Nearly Banned Apps, a site that tracks risqué and misunderstood iPhone apps. And late last night, he began research on a new self-help book for aspiring monogamists: “On a Planet Where I Could Do Math, You’d Be Right.”

The first time Perre performed prestidigitation in public was when Warner Bros. Studios—quite unaware of his unorthodox culinary experiments—invited him to build the Marauder’s Map in the official Harry Potter website.

Benjamin Leeds Carson is not a real Professor, but he plays one at a major university*. He is descended directly from the illegitimate fifth child of Mistress Deborah Leeds, the famed witch of the Jersey Pine Barrens, and the closeted witch-lover Cotton Mather—himself notorious for his public role as witch-hunter and moral standards-bearer.

Seven children later, Mother Leeds’ 13th-born infant flew from her accursed womb into the Jersey night to haunt the forests. Rumored to pray on livestock, the beast is known to the locals as the Leeds Devil, and is the namesake of the three-time Stanley Cup winning “New Jersey Devils.” But Ben’s family-line holds fast to the better knowledge that she birthed a hippogriff. True story. Look it up.

Ben also happens to be the composer of the upcoming Star Trek Opera. Also true.

* Did you know that the honourific “Professor” is technically reserved for the high rank of “Full Professor”? Most of the folks who taught you in college probably haven’t got there yet. Some never do. As in wizardry, Ben is just an assistant.

The Illustrator

Miraculously preserved over five centuries, the original illustrations are by Sir Justin Owens, Dragon Trainer, Senior Wizard of Aesthetics and The Drawn Sword, 1528.

Rumor that Justin lives today is hogwash. He as likely travelled back in time to illustrate this book as he travelled forward in time to illustrate this book in the month preceding its publication. Finally, Justin is not (yet) employed by Pixar as Senior Animation Supervisor.